We can't figure out why JLH is single. She's beautiful and seemingly nice. But we'll take a wild guess: it must be her incessant references to being unattached. From vajazzling her va-jay, to allegedly stalking men, and telling Ellen Degeneres she'd like a piece of newly single Adam Levine, J. Love is more boy crazy than a Catholic school girl.
Her latest confession: “I carry McCormick’s Pure Vanilla Extract — the baking kind — and dab it on my neck. Men are attracted to the scent! One time, I put it on and four different guys were like, ‘You smell amazing!’”
Because, ya' know what they say, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and also through stalking and putting rhinestones all over your vagina and letting the world know about it! I mean, we all know there is no other reason to exist and smell good than for men, amiright, ladies? Excuse me, I need to get back to baking a pie in lingerie soon, but before I do, here are the best quotes/incidences of J. Love's raging singleness:
“I always have my eyes out. I just read two days ago that Adam Levine is single again… I’m just saying… We would be cute.” -as recently told to Ellen on the Ellen Degeneres show.
"I love Booty Parlor's Kissaholic Aphrodisiac Breath Spray. You never know when a makeout moment is coming!" -when asked what's in her handjob handbag, US Weekly.
“Okay, Husband Locator app, you cost $39.99, and led me to a VFW, but I believe in you.” -via Twitter.
“I was looking for something pop culture to tweet about… Things got blown out of proportion… I have nothing to say except I’m totally single!” -her response to Ryan Seacrest in regards to the "stalking" incident with The Bachelorette's Ben Flajnik.
"I've literally, in my entire life I've had two guys come up to me and ask me out. Other than that I have had to go and try to like spend time with them, or sort of start the conversation, basically like spell it out in a Sharpie, like, you know?" -in an interview with Dark Horizons.
"I like cats. I used to have a lot of cats." -in an interview with Talk Talk.
And finally: JLH goes on Lopez Tonight to tell the world about her vajazzled va-jay:
HEY GUYS, DID YOU HEAR THIS??!! JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT IS SINGLE!!!!!