Despite its rise to dominance, Twitter still has a lot of haters. If you're one of them, chances are you haven't joined, or worse: you're following the wrong people. Before you can retort by saying, "Listen, my 14 friends and hilarious uncle are all I need in my life," do yourself a favor and follow some really funny people. If the only names that come to mind are Stephen Colbert and Conan O'Brien, never fear: Joonbug has navigated the treacherous depths of the Twittersphere for its funniest users.
As a New York-based actor, John Early has appeared in Off-Broadway productions with the Atlantic Theater and Pipeline Theater Company. As a Twitterer, he has appeared in a boatload of retweets. In addition to his more absurd, and hopefully fictitious tweets ("You guys I just baked one of my best friends into a pie #freakingout"), the Beyonce wannabe's sexually-tinged proclamations ("Let me hear y'all scream if you're not sure you're a virgin!") should give you a midday pick-me-up of fabulousness.
Travis Bowe, a writer for Fox's "The Cleveland Show," isn't able to get every silly thought in his head into every script. Luckily, his followers are treated to his comedic leftovers. Like an online version of Jack Handy's "Deep Thoughts," Bowe's daily life advice ("Be careful in the ocean, that's where the blond guy from TMZ jerks off") might not save your life, but should make it a bit more bearable.
As a member of growing New York sketch comedy groups Political Subversities (which Joonbug profiled a few months ago) and The People's Sketch Association, most of Todd Dakotah Briscoe's best of work is onstage. Those not in New York can at least serve as his electronic audience, though he might at first seem not to care. ("Yes, I have a place for you in my heart. It's the part I'm trying to kill WITH BACON.")
Aparna Nancherla, an L.A. comic, spared potential followers the trial of spelling her full name, opting for AparNapkin. Her dry humor is anything but low-brow, however, as her recent Halloween tweets attest. ("Help! I'm at a pretentious party surrounded by metaphors!")
Living a dual life as a cartoonist and online comedian would be difficult...if you weren't funny. Luckily, Josh Hara is. Take a moment to enjoy his brash style ("'Scoreboard, motherfucker' -- What Seal thinks whenever someone on Earth makes a joke about his face.") and irreverent musings ("Absence makes the heart grow fonder, which is why I occasionally let my kids wake up in an empty house").
Aforementioned tweeter Josh Hara follows Caprice Crane, and he's not the only one. At 91,000 followers and counting, this L.A. native isn't just a novelist and screenwriter -- she's becoming a Twitter sensation. Her Halloween tips this weekend ("Before you say 'Great zombie costume!' make sure the person isn't just phenomenally ugly") probably helped.
MTV broke the news yesterday that comedian Rob Delaney is suing Kim Kardashian over her divorce. You can hear his side of the story, along with some of his other hysterical musings on his feed. Beware that much of his material is dedicated to human functions, sexual or otherwise. ("At my last count, there are at least 70 pictures of naked women on the internet.")
Megan Amram is so funny in 140 characters or less that the networks noticed. Her quick wit was employed as a writer for this year's Oscars. Her Sarah Silverman-esque, faux fascist gag might be a bit edgy for some ("When you go to a book burning, do you have to use a different Kindle for each book or can you just burn one Kindle??"), but with over 100,000 followers, it seems like most people get the joke.