Ah, Thanksgiving. The time of year where families reunite, turkeys are consumed in copius amounts, gluttony ensues... and fellow Americans pepper spray each other to get a moderate discount on an Xbox 360. Well, at least this year. One can always rely on national holidays to ring in interesting headlines. So, in case you were in a tryptophan-induced coma for the past 4 days, here's a roundup of what happened in the interim:

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What recession? Good news for the slumping economy: shoppers set a record on Black Friday weekend. 226 million people braved the mobs (each other) to spend tons of money they probably don't have. [Forbes] Record Breaking Black Friday Weekend

What decency? Bad news for Wal-Mart shoppers: "competitive shopper" pepper sprays 20 people to snag an Xbox. That's about right. Afterall, November 2011 will always be remembered as the month everyone was pepper sprayed. [LA Times] Victims in Wal-Mart pepper spray incident interviewed by LAPD

What common sense? Of course, we had to include an obligatory turkey frying disaster. Because, without fail, someone starts a fried turkey fire every year.  [KRDO] A turkey fryer fire almost ruined Thanksgiving for one Security family. 

What religion? 19-year-old former Disney star, virgin, and Christian, Miley Cyrus is a self-proclaimed "stoner." The tweener makes a bold confession on her way to Britney-Spearsville. [NY Post] Birthday Girl Miley's doobious statement

What love child? Justin Beiber wears a $1,650 terrible Christmas sweater that easily outshines his baby mama headlines. Strategic or simply bad style? [HuffPo] Justin Bieber Christmas Sweater on 'Today Show' Costs Pretty Penny

What penis pics? Disgraced politician Anthony Weiner Black Friday shops, donning a sleazy mustache in honor of his amateur porn career 'Movember.' [Gothamist] Anthony Weiner Grows Creepy Porn 'Stache For Movember