Eric Ripert spits on your Mother’s recession. Le Bernadin is the next in line for the Zagat Vintage Dinners (where New York restaurants create a meal inspired by the great cuisine of the 19th century) and is, perhaps the most exciting. Look at this description floating around the Interweb:

“On Monday, March 9th, Chef Eric Ripert will transform the Salons at Le Bernardin into a turn-of-the-century Paris cabaret for a black tie soiree complete with dinner, dancing and general frivolity. Donned in period attire, the staff will serve revelers a candle-light champagne dinner, while performers sing a repertoire of French cabaret tunes.”

Well, that might make you forget all about the cruel world around you!

Ready for the unpronounceable, indecipherable menu options? Start with (the familiar) Champagne with bites of Quiche Lorraine and deviled quail eggs. Then sit down for Loup de Mer à la Nage de Champagne, Wild Hare “a la Royale” Embeuree de Choux, Bombe Nero Flambée and more Champagne. There’s going to be a lot of Champagne, because you and your date just spent $700.

But hey, it’s charitable: 10% of the evening's proceeds will go to City Harvest. And Ripert will take his nightly pleasure bath, swimming with the other $630 from every couple there.

$350 (includes 5 courses, alcohol, tax and tip). Call 212.554.1515, even though your almost certainly too late and cheap. Oh and hey – it’s a recession…