A little cliché – and far from ultimatums – New Year’s Resolutions haven’t exactly altered the course of mankind. Beginning as a simple motivation to be a Good Samaritan, we no longer take ourselves too seriously on January 1st because we’ve pretty much been there and done that with trying to achieve world peace and aspiring after rock-hard abs (who needs crop tops anyways?). Becoming more like sources of entertainment, some of the best and worst proclamations have come from the brilliant minds of our favorite celebrities. With exactly one month left to think about you’re next “new year, new me” procrastination goal, here’s some good-humored inspiration from the Twitter-sphere by the people we love to hate, or hate to love.
My new years resolution: Never be afraid to be kicked in the teeth. Let the blood and the bruises define your legacy. - Lady Gaga 2012
— The Countess (@ladygaga) January 1, 2012
2014 Resolution - I need to work on being a less controversial tweeter.
— Shia LaBeouf (@thecampaignbook) December 31, 2013
LONG STORY SHORT. My new years resolution for 2015 is gonna be the exact same as 2014; share love and cut off attention for haters! :)
— Zedd (@Zedd) January 1, 2015
Neil's New Year Resolutions, Part 7: Spend a small part of every day reading. Not surfing, not searching - just reading.
— Neil Patrick Harris (@ActuallyNPH) January 1, 2011
Happy New Year! (My resolution to tweet more is not going so well)
— alyson hannigan (@alydenisof) January 17, 2015
My New Year’s resolution is to fake smile more.
— Steve Martin (@SteveMartinToGo) January 2, 2012
New Year's Resolutions: - Perfect my mermaid dancing - More horizontal running - Tell the Jew that shalom is not a word Lezbihonest... Food.
— Rebel Wilson (@MsRebelWilson) January 2, 2013
This year I resolve to put my pants on one leg at a time. Mostly because Portia took away my trampoline. What's your New Year's resolution?
— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) January 2, 2012
New Years resolution: be more awesome.
— Adam Levine (@adamlevine) January 3, 2013
I am so Grateful for Hot Water that i am making a New Year's Resolution to Save it! http://bit.ly/6LsAvG
— Jason Mraz (@jason_mraz) December 31, 2009
Making a resolution to read more books in 2014 and get more involved in my community. #LetsBubble together. What ... pic.twitter.com/x886dPTYOJ
— Hilary Duff (@HilaryDuff) January 1, 2014
My New Years resolution? HM. To build a muscular ass. 👊 #squatssquatssquats
— Nicole Polizzi (@snooki) December 29, 2013