CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT

FIRST COURSE
Nutella Might Owe You Ca$h Money!

Nutella, the velvety chocolate and hazelnut spread adored by millions, recently had its day in court. Two mothers, Athena Hohenberg and Laura Rude-Barbato, brought up a class action lawsuit against the company who produces the spread, Ferrero, for exaggerating Nutella’s nutritional value. Athena and Laura were appalled at the way Ferrero advertised Nutella as a healthy option because it is made with “simple, quality ingredients like hazelnuts, skim milk, and a hint of coco.”

FIRST COURSE
Wolfgang: F*ck!

Put that smile away, Wolfgang — we know you’ve been hiding something. Wolfgang’s Steakhouse has been served with a class action lawsuit, which is bad news, considering that the lawyer is the infamous restaurant-crusher Maimon Kirschenbaum (did he ever think he wasn’t going to grow up to be a lawyer?)

The charges? Looks like the most famous celebrity from Sankt Veit an der Glan had some trouble paying minimum wage and overtime pay. That’s probably tough to beat, considering that payroll records are kind of completely on paper. Either way, it’s going to be a rough legal battle that may cripple a restaurant surviving in a time when the last place money should be spent is on lawyers’ fees.

Hopefully they won’t send Puck back to Austria. Earth doesn’t have a good history with Austrian ex-pats who fail in the (culinary) arts. Hitler.